Victory In Jesus 

As I look back over my life, I can see that I was being led to this one spot...this place in time. I was raised in a semi-religious, (kinda) God-fearing home. Sure, they had their problems, but my parents basically were the normal dysfunctional parents...cigarettes, weekend beer, etc. I had an Old World Polish Gramma who taught me to pray, read the Bible and have faith in Jesus. She played a bigger part of my life then I ever thought she would. 

A lot of my life is in my mind...I read a lot, and so I tend to intellectualize, and analyze everything. As a teen, I tried to solve problems my way instead of talking them out. So I ran away. I got into a world of trouble...drugs, alcohol, immorality, lies...you name it, I found it or it found me. I guess a little Light must have been shining through the haze I was living in, because one day I came home and tried to right all the wrongs. That blew up in my face big time. People didn’t trust me anymore. I married the first guy that my mama halfway liked, thinking we wouldn’t have a problem with family then. And that was wrong, too. My family thought his family was too uppity. His thought mine were hillbillies. I got into diet pills, and he started cheating...and God never even crossed our minds. 

It wasn’t until I had a daughter, lost 3 children, got divorced, and had another daughter on the way that Jesus came back into my life. Two weeks before my second daughter came into the world, I was baptized. Little did I know that it would bring me 20 years of spiritual oppression. See, God needs people to stand and shout for him. He loves us and wants us to express our love and worship as the Spirit touches us to do...not sit there and bury our feelings. No where in the Bible does it say to keep your feelings to yourself. But in the church I was in... That is exactly what we did. That and more. There is so much more that happened there...not feeling forgiven because the pastor felt you haven’t suffered enough. True, a Pastor has revelations about his flock...but to say for 10 years that you are not forgiven? Ya see, I had been abused, and my abuser was younger than I was. Yet I was ‘unforgiven’ because I turned him in and he went free. 

In the meantime, my parents had retired and found Jesus while living here in Arkansas. I would come to visit and go to church with them, as was always the house rule. Even when I was married, we would go to our own church in the morning and their church at night and on Wednesdays. A little more Light was slowly seeping in. A long time later, when my Pastor had finally forgiven me, I started to make a “ miraculous” change. I was growing uncomfortable with my church home.  

I needed a change...of heart as well as scenery.  

My father became ill with a terminal disease, and I started traveling over 4000 miles each month to be with him and help where I can. I started to feel more comfortable here at Apostolic Temple...and loved the fact that I could shout for the Lord if I wanted to...and at times the Spirit of the Lord  would well up in me.  

Now, ya gotta understand, as a child, I was taught children are to be seen and not heard. So this was truly new to me.  

Through the prayers of many, I began to see what my parents had been trying to show me for years.  Through the diligence, and understanding of Pastor Tuberville, and a few others here at Apostolic Temple, I began to truly understand Jesus. I finally felt free. And I was baptized in Jesus name, this past August. Now I worship my Lord, Jesus Christ, the way I want to...the way I need to...the way I know He wants me to. I am ready, willing and able to make a stand for Him.  

Jesus immediately released me from the bondage of addictions, from spiritual oppression, and sin.   He gave me my life when I was near death on two occasions. He has healed so many of my loved ones. He has always been there for me, to keep me safe when those around me are being careless. He cares for me... He died for me, and rose on the third day to conquer death. He lives and reigns eternally! I know He is there for me, to comfort me on a daily basis... or on an hourly basis if need be. 

I love Him, and want to give Him all my adoration and praise His Precious Name forever. He’s coming back for us...and I’m going to be ready!!! I hope you are, too. He is my King. Forever and ever. He can do the same for anyone that believes in Him...if they are sincere and repent.

Carol Dixon